First of all, what are boundaries? and why are they important?
Boundaries are a life skill, that should be taught to every single person.
By definition, Boundaries are limits people set in order to create a healthy sense of personal space, they help distinguish desires, needs and preferences of one person to another.
Why are boundaries important?
To put it simply, boundaries help us thrive and have healthy long term relationships. They help us communicate our needs, desires whilst also ensuring our own personal well-being and health. Without boundaries, we would constantly feel burnt out, exhausted and would be in a frequent state of low frequency vibes.
There are multiple categories of boundaries, however, the most important boundaries to teach kids include physical, emotional and time boundaries. Let's dive into these 3 types of boundaries.
TYPES OF BOUNDARIES
1. PHYSICAL BOUNDARIES
Physical boundaries incorporate bodily integrity and the right to physical autonomy. It helps you to protect your body and personal space no matter what situation you are in.
So how can you teach this to kids?
As you may know, most kids learn through visual means. You could create a social story about physical boundaries and body autonomy or read books to them about this topic (there are so many out there).
Having an open discussion about personal space can also be really effective.
I encourage you to get creative when trying to explain this to kids.
For example: use a hoolla hoop to demonstrate the physical distance and concept of a 'personal bubble'.
2. EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES
Emotional and/or mental boundaries, help protect your right to have your own feelings, thoughts and emotions without judgement from others.
So how can you teach this to kids?
There are a few excellent visual concepts such as the 'Zones of regulation' and 'How does my engine run' that help bring awareness and understanding of ones and other emotions. They help teach kids that all emotions are welcome and come and go like waves. It supports their ability to go from co-regulation to self regulation.
Having regular open discussions about emotions about certain situations is also effective in teaching kids to share their thoughts and feelings without judgement. Reflecting on their feelings and behaviours also improves their ability to control their actions, thus having a positive effect on their ability to problem solve through conflict.
3. TIME BOUNDARIES
The definition of time boundaries refer to how a person uses their time. For children this may be hard, particularly for those age groups that do not yet have learnt the concept of time.
So how can you teach time boundaries to kids that have not yet learnt telling the time?
Ever heard of the 'First and Then' concept?
This is a widely used concept to support children with transitioning from task to task without verbalising a specific time frame such as 5 minutes, half an hour ect.
Children understand time by their activity engagement. For example: ' First we will eat lunch, then we will go to the park'. This is a fantastic way to teach kids about time boundaries and has saved many meltdowns from occurring.
You could also use visuals to support the concept of time or have a visual representation of time, such as using time timers.
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